Not-so-grumpy!

Ever had one of THOSE days?! Where you just feel grumpy?! And no matter how hard you try, you just can’t pull yourself out?! I’m not talking about days where you’re under very real stress and pressure and are genuinely feeling weighed down by the world. I’m talking about those days when nothing is really wrong, the odd niggle or frustration might rear its unwanted head here or there but for the most part, life is pretty good, it’s just that grumpiness seems to tap you on the shoulder and settle in for the ride.

Well, today has been such a day as this. A day where I woke up and had a million things in my head, some that I needed, and some that I wanted to achieve and accomplish! I did what I usually do in such times and wrote a list to check everything off as I went through. I started off well, cleaned, tidied and vacuumed the house, read through a document that needed editing, made up the guest room for the friend we have staying overnight, prepared the sunday school lesson I am teaching tomorrow morning at church, put a load of washing on and unloaded the dishwasher.

My plan was then to do some writing but not a mini-blog like this one. I am writing the first part of the story of my adoption and the journey to find my biological parents. But I got distracted. Over the last few days I’ve been thinking about the blog and the writing I’ve done so far and where it might be going. I definitely do not have the answers yet but my mind has been full of thoughts on blog designs, page content, page layouts, widgets (I didn’t even know what a widget was a week ago!), links and so on, in order to build a blog site that is easy to navigate, looks good and will serve its purpose for the future when there is a larger volume of blogs to read and archive. In a nutshell, my focus shifted from the treasure to the chest!

Time for me to be honest now. I like to learn, I like to achieve and I like to be productive! In fact, I don’t just like it, I thrive on it! But inevitably, there are times when obstacles appear. In most situations, obstacles don’t phase me! Obstacles simply need to be looked as learning curves that, with commitment and effort, can be climbed over and walked away from with another skill gained. But sometimes, they can seem too much of an inconvenience, too much of a hold-up, too much of an effort. I think sometimes this can just be because they aren’t meant to be part of our skill set, although most of the time, I do believe we just need to power on through and believe that we can learn and overcome them if we throw ourselves into the task at hand.

So today, my grumpiness tapped me on the shoulder for no reason this morning and then was fueled by a tiny bit of frustration. Frustration because in my head I know what I need the blog site to provide, what I want it to look like and what I’ll need it to contain but currently I don’t have the skills to make it happen! Now, yesterday I also knew that fact. But I wasn’t grumpy! Because I knew it, but I hadn’t yet tried to fix it. It was just knowledge. And I thought I’d easily be able to work it out. Today I tried. And realised I’m not going to be able to overcome all the things I need to without getting some help from someone who knows and that will involve patience and time and right now the new site is messy and a work in progress and I don’t like mess! I would like to be working on it and getting it sorted so I can then just focus on the writing side of things – the treasure, the reason why I’m here.

BUT. Is it worth losing to a day of grumpiness?! Actually no! Not even one little bit. Today the frustration was a lack of technical knowledge. But it could be anything. Things fly into our radars all the time, every day, that can frustrate us and cause us to lose patience and let grumpiness in. We need to just remember to see the wood for the trees. We need to recognise the obstacle and respond to it as necessary but maintain our peace and joy in life.

All it took for my grumpiness to fall away, was to leave the house, get some fresh air, go for a drive in the sunshine to a place I know I can take time out and chill, talk to a few people who can provide the help I need and therefore realise that what lies before me is another learning opportunity to gain some more knowledge and skills.

More importantly though, what I have also realised is that everything needs to be kept in perspective. Because if we allow obstacles to become too big, they will become unwanted distractions and cause us to take our eyes of the real focus. And my focus is the writing first and foremost. I don’t know where these blogs are going, if anyone will ever really read them or if they will just fade out but for now, I don’t want to miss writing because I’m distracted!

Am I grumpy?! Actually … I’m not-so-grumpy after all!

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